As much as possible we try not to talk about his work, because we get to talk about it the rest of the week at dinners at home. We try to talk about important stuff: our family's future, our walk with God, mmmm well other people (not often), and basically anything we can think of. As for me, I love trivial stuff. I love talking to Jerome about seemingly nonsense stuff. But, I love to surprise him when the topic actually takes a turn for the interesting in the end.
Just like how I ended this night with a simple question:
"Don't you find the term Inday or 'Day derogatory?"
First of all, I don't mean to offend anyone with my question. It was really just a matter of exchanging opinions about a harmless question.
Of course, I asked because I admittedly feel bad when I hear someone call a kasambahay Inday. I'm sure people have their own reasons why they do this, and I am not here to say their reasons are wrong. I understand that it is something of preference, and maybe, I'm just not that used to it.
Growing up, I had Nana who was my loving yaya since age 0. I called her Ate as a sign of respect since she was older (but not too old). We had other kasambahays too, but we called them by their name. We sometimes use Ate for all of them, but I don't remember my Mom calling anyone of them Inday or 'Day.
I am not discounting the fact too that Inday or Manang can mean Ate in Ilonggo. My Mom's from Capiz and she would often refer to her older sisters and cousins as Inday or Manang. For some, I know they use it as a term of endearment.
But what I don't understand is-why is Inday WIDELY and IMMENSELY used to refer to kasambahays? TV and movie characters use them. We use them in kasambahay jokes. But really, if you mean Inday to be a term of endearment or another term to mean Ate, then why not call the cashier Inday? Why not call the waitress Inday? Really why not?
Am I wrong to feel bad about it? Am I actually the one who's negative here by creating a new issue altogether with something not that big of a deal?
Oh and don't get me started with "teh" and "kuya." I've undeniably called millions teh and kuya, I'm not going to act all self-righteous here. But I can't help but wonder, when is it really appropriate? Why would I cringe if I hear someone call a bank teller teh, but would consider it as the norm when I'm in the market? I've tried to stay away from calling strangers teh or kuya, and went with the safer "miss" or "sir." Or if all else fails, I just say "excuse me" out loud to get their attention.
Maybe it's the way people have abused these terms in several situations? I really don't know exactly what turns me off.
Or maybe, secretly, I'm judgmental too.
Yeah maybe that's it.
I guess my point is, we all have names. Our parents have spent a considerable amount of time thinking of the perfect name for us. That's me speaking from experience. It took us months and a book to decide what to name our first son. Alonzo Mathias doesn't mean much to a lot of people, but to him it does (or it will). To us it does.
There is a reason why restaurant servers have name plates. Surprise! It's for you to know their names so you can call them with it. Kasambahays have names too! Elna, Apple, Marissa, Victoria, Mercy, Sophie.. whatever. They have a name like you and me. So why not call them with their names?
Again, I can't fail to emphasize that I'm also trying to understand why I feel so negative about it. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated too. Do you think Inday, Day, or teh is derogatory? Would you feel bad if someone called you other than your name?
Tell me about it!
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